In case you've been living in a cave for the past week (or maybe just south campus…or off of campus... or you just dont eat at the union), subconnection has launched a daring new campaign: Breakfast All-Day Subs.
It all started on Tuesday when I was standing in a longer than usual line at subconnection, when, after eons of waiting and waiting, I turned that little corner out of the ramp, almost there! However instead of being greeted by cheering people with little cups of water and a finish line banner, I am greeted by something entirely unexpected: A simple three-leg easel with a sign on it, the sign showcasing a glorious, almost glowing sub of breakfast items and the words “BREAKFAST ALL-DAY SUBS”. Perplexed by this ominous and foreign concept, my brain struggles to comprehend. I mean what do we have here… Breakfast: Good, Breakfast All-Day: Even Better, Breakfast All-Day …Subs: ..wha?, there has to be a catch. So the line slowly moves on and I approach the counter and I have to make a decision, do I abide by the man’s unspoken law and fear the breakfast sub, and instead stick to the safety of my Italian cold cut trio? No! Today, I am a MAN, and I am going to conquer this new foe. One of the subconnection regulars asks me what I’ll be having today, and I proclaim “the breakfast sub, on jalapeño cheddar bread”, a few people in the line stare as my sub is taken to the toaster oven, “that’s right, you were all to scared to try it, I own you”. Ding! Sub is done, and the guy asks me if I want anything on it… I stall.. do I want anything on it? Its already breakfast sausage, egg, and cheese… what the heck do you put on that? Vinegar and Oil? Lettuce? Banana Peppers?, I just don’t know… I falter, and go with the cop-out “no that’s all”.
So I return to my room with the sub, not being one to make a public spectacle of myself (actually I just had chemistry soon and had to get my books, but lets just pretend the sub was that dangerous I had to eat it in the privacy of my own room). I sit down and unwrap my opponent….. ITS ****ING GO TIME!
After a few bites, the tension has subsided in my stomach, I let go of my phone with the poison hotline dialed in and ready to call. The sub… is …DELICIOUS! Sub connection has succeeded in a complete re-invention of the definition of the meaning of the theory of sub sandwiches entirely, amazing.
With that said, here’s the rundown: Mainly, it tastes great, aside from clashing with the sides (I mean come on.. chips.. and soda? Not my kinda breakfast sides, but to each his own. Huge ego boost, this sub screams “I’m more daring than you, mr. roast beef and provolone”, its American as all hell, I mean they just took one of the only entirely healthy places on campus and threw in greasy breakfast sausage, egg, and cheese, this isn’t just a McMuffin, it’s like three McMuffins, or a McMuffin squared. To top that off in the corner of the sign it re-assures you that this is 100% USDA Pork, because frozen dehydrated pork bricks taste SO much better when its from the good ol’ US of A. Rated on a scale of 0-5 Disconfigured Hand Holding Sub Things heres how the Sub performs:
6 comments:
Jajajajaja, as late as it is in the day, your blog just made all its impurities better. I have been to afraid to try it; the breakfast sub. But after this, I am so doing it!
Haha wow. Awesome writing for one thing. It went by so fast, I wanted you to write more! I am glad you enjoyed the breakfast sub as it sounds like it was a risk.
haha, I think you're right. Nothing says America like an elongated egg mcmuffin
Yikes my friend! Breakfast sub, now although I have never thought of making a breakfast sub but instead substituted it for the orginal burrito. But all is well when I tried the sub and I agree and add on that life is better in between to six inch halves of a sub.
You have too much time on your hands! Dude, you took a picture of yourself eating the sub, then you made a little ratings chart, then you actually figured out what the average of those ratings were? GREG, go back to whining about not having a sink in your dorm
XD Hahaha!!! Greg you are such a crazy cat. I'm glad you liked the breakfast subs so much...I'm not really a breadfast person so I'll probably just take your word for it and believe you when you say they're good.
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